Jai SriRam
14 February, 2016.
The previous evening, I had attended the Satsang with Nitindada in the B2 house (Goa). The next morning, I was intently trying to recollect all the things HE had taught. By nature, I don’t like to be interrupted when there is a continuous flow to my chain of thoughts. Suddenly, my mother came up to me and asked me what is the meaning of the bhajan- “अगर है शौक मिलने का, तो हर दम लौ लगाता जा”. I was extremely irritated that my link was broken. With a disgruntled tone, I told her that Gurumayi ने CD वर explain केले आहे. (This song is written by a Sufi Saint named Mansur Mastana and we had recently heard it being sung by Gurumayi. She has written the translation of the above song in English on the CD cover.) That was the end of the discussion and we both went about doing our own things. I completely forgot about this interaction in no time.
Later, we again went for Satsang in B2. After the chant and Pravachan, out of nowhere, the above bhajan flashed in my mind. It seemed to have come up without any connection to the above incident. Nitindada used to play different bhajans from HIS playlist. That evening, this particular one was being played. The timing was so perfect. I requested HIM to explain the meaning of this bhajan. HE looked at me and said, “Gurumayi ने CD वर explain केले आहे. I cannot say anything to that”. I was shattered and with HIS grace, I realized my mistake. It was as if HE became a mirror; I saw the effect of my actions coming back to me. 'What goes around, comes around' is one of the cardinal principles HE has taught us.
My mother had innocently asked a question but my response was cutting and harsh. I got a taste of my own medicine, except, only this time it was much more painful to hear my own words voiced by HIM. It was wrong on my part to have been rude with my mother because HE dwells within everyone. HE is listening through all ears. All I could do is hang my head in shame and apologize for this behavior.
I could have conveyed to her respectfully that I was tied up with something and I could not attend to her at that time. It was a lesson that went deep within, one that I must continue to actively practice in my daily interactions. No matter how important the task at hand may be, I must learn to take a pause and respond with due respect and consideration. Because HE resides in the hearts of everyone. The bhajan was so aptly chosen by HIM to convey this message. It says - If you long to meet God, then keep focusing all your love on HIM. Burn up your ego in the fire of love (translated by Gurumayi).
HE also told me, that if we go on reading other explanations, then it just becomes a literary reading and we just read it and don’t follow what is written. ‘That’ devotion must come from following what was explained. HE said that’s why HE read only one book...Sri Maharaj’s Pravachane.
As I reflect upon this incident, my heart is filled with gratitude to HIM. Even though this child of HIS is filled with impurities, HE never forsakes. Out of HIS compassion and nothing but pure love, HE points out my mistakes and at the same time gives a reassurance that even though I am not with HIM in HIS Physical Presence, we are connected.
Thank YOU Nitindada, for everything.
With love and gratitude, I bow down at YOUR Feet.
Jai SriRam
10-09-2020 05:54 pm / POSTED BY : Kalpita Korgaonker / Where the Experience took place : Nuvem, Goa.
