Jai SriRam
October 2020.
Usually, I can’t easily connect the dots and see Nitindada’s invisible hand in teaching me something in a situation. Particularly, if the incidences are in different settings and timelines. But, it’s truly a delight when, with HIS grace alone, the inner “tube light” finally ignites to throw light upon HIS beautiful plan for me.
Our neighbor and I were talking about Nitindada and what walking the path has been like for us. He shared that he has been training his mind to do the exact opposite of anything that his mind really wants. I was happy that HE showed me one of the many ways to let go of material desires.
A few days later, I spoke to a family member. She was spring cleaning and wanted to know if I would like to have some of her saris. I politely declined the offer, inwardly feeling smug about being detached. She asked, “Not even one for sentimental value?”. I refused again, thinking sentimental value does nothing but create clutter at home. I even wondered, 'My God, people can really get stuck in such small things. How will they walk the path?'. The next day, I told her how amazing it was that she managed to give things away. In a lofty attitude, I gave this whole speech on how it feels as if the mind is clear and clutter-free, etc.
The following day, I felt that I must do this activity too. I had received over 20 saris during my wedding. Almost all of them were never even opened once and were in the original packaging. For the last 16 years, they were tucked away in a case that I had not touched. I felt that it was a great idea to give them away to someone who could use them. It didn’t seem like a hard task, especially because I don’t even like saris. As I opened the case, most unexpectedly, I didn’t realize my eyes were starting to fancy the designs. As I started to sort, I remembered stories associated with them. One of them is named 'Tanchoi' after three Chinese artisans who came to India and taught us how to weave silk. To my utter dismay, I could come up with only three to give away. When it came to the ‘Tanchoi’, I found it really hard to part with. My attachment was as if those artisans had personally woven it for me and this was to go with me into my next life. I was not pleased with this inner self-discovery. I couldn’t believe how odd it was to want to hold on to something that I had not even cared about for so many years. All the things that I gave a speech about were staring right back at me. It was as if HE was asking me, ‘Ever heard of practice what you preach?’. Then with HIS grace, I remembered our neighbor’s strategy to do the exact opposite. Somehow, just acknowledging to HIM that I had failed, made it easier to let go without any heavy feeling.
I was humbled to realize that HE created this whole scenario to teach me to let go; not only of material desires but also of false notions I had about myself. HE gave this inner understanding, “Who am I to judge anyone’s spiritual level when I myself am flawed”. This was impossible for me to realize on my own. HIS ways of teaching are mysterious yet so powerful. HE showed me a glimpse of how subtly the ego is hidden. The only way out of this is HIS Grace alone. And for that, I pray that I remain in HIS constant remembrance/Naam. It really fills my heart with immense love and gratitude to see HIS loving Presence in my life. Just writing about HIM evokes pure joy. It is impossible to walk this path without The SatGuru. This only gets reinforced through beautiful lessons like this one.
Thank YOU Nitindada, for everything.
At YOUR Feet.
Jai SriRam
18-10-2020 07:23 pm / POSTED BY : Kalpita Korgaonker / Where the Experience took place : Khar, Mumbai
